I hold my son a little tighter tonight; stroke his head once more than needed. I breathe his sleepy sighs and inhale his whispered Mama. He makes my heart hurt a little less; I am so thankful for him.
Recently, like too many others, we lost something. And I really don’t know how I should be now, what I should do. I don’t know if this is private; if I should explain my absences and cancelled plans with vague excuses of flu and a packed schedule. Or if I should admit that something big and sad has happened, and that I’m not okay at the moment.