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Toy Bonfire

A poem about my deepest, darkest fantasy…

The mother looked around, rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh
The clutter filling up the room could almost make her cry
She looked at all the books, the games, the eleven million toys
The big bright noisy plastic that is made for girls and boys

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Dear Preschool

Two years ago my husband and I decided to look into some part time childcare for our little boy.  I had heard lovely things about our local preschool but being nervous, worried and all those other things I can be as a mother, I just couldn’t imagine him feeling independent enough to be happy in the care of non-family members. He was funny and lively at home, but otherwise quite shy and it felt like a big leap for him to be in a setting without me.

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Why I Hate Dinnertime

I’m not going to write this as an open letter to dinnertime because I realise that as more of a hellish entity than a person, it will not reply, thus furthering my rage and feelings of hopelessness towards it.

I’m just going to rant about it generally on here because I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in this. Let’s hope so anyway – misery loves company, right?

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Look, I couldn’t help it, OK? I’ve been reading Fox’s Socks – and the rest of the Acorn Wood gang- for two years. I know them off by heart and I can say without certainty I’m not the only one thinking Fox really needs to cut back on the sauce […]

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Breaking up with Breastfeeding

sleepy breastfeeding babyDear Breastfeeding,

This is a break-up letter, although ours is not a bitter end.

We have been through some times, certainly. That spate of hourly feeds was fun, and mastitis sure knew how to throw a good party or three. There were moments when I wished we were formula feeding just to get a break, a solid stretch of sleep, a few hours where nobody needed to touch me. Our relationship was definitely not without its speed bumps.

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Announcing a brief blog takeover by the bambino. Normal service will be resumed. At some point. If he ever starts sleeping…

1. Milk is the greatest thing ever invented – by women or cows – or whatever. Wherever it comes from, it’s awesome, so keep it flowing.

2. Grown-ups are weird. They bemoan the fact having kids has made them boring, then don’t stop banging on about sleep and being tired. YAWN. Change the record or bore off!

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People flock daily to popular parenting forums to seek tips, advice and opinions on matters about life and their precious offspring – it’s popular stuff! If babies and toddlers used them, however, we might find them wrestling some particularly meaty issues… Following on from the original Totsnet, this Am I Being […]

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10 Things Sleep Deprivation has Taught me

So there’s apparently always a lesson to be learnt. Even in the hellish midst of sleep deprivation…

1 – To lower my expectations… and then lower them some more. To the point where I consider a two hour stretch of unbroken sleep pretty decent

2 – That sometimes the only thing allowing me to parent safely is a hot cup of tea and the gritty determination to reach the bottom of it

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Life Lessons for my 3-year-old

life lessons 3 year old Big Trouble in Little NappiesI hear a lot of stuff about the baby days, a lot about the terrible two’s and a lot about 4-year-olds and the huge milestone of starting school. Right now though, I’m bathing knee deep in 3-year-old lunacy, which I actually don’t hear much about at all.

My son Just. Doesn’t. Stop.

Age 3 seems to be an explosion of imagination, conversation, learning SO much, and the blossoming of both awesome and frankly quite frightening personality traits. It’s a time to savour the happy chaos – in between shouting, ‘Get to bed!’ And, ‘Stop picking your nose!’ – and a time to worry if we’re doing what we should to help him not become a psychopath.

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On Being Tired and Being Enough

Tired and a little stressed, I sat down last week and tapped out this post for my Facebook page. I had had enough… of feeling like I wasn’t doing well enough, or that my baby was somehow wrong for not singing the same song sheet as the books prescribe. The response was so wonderfully overwhelming that I realised so many of us feel similar, and so many of us are cracking on doing an absolutely stirling job, but without any self-recognition. At all.

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Why Babies Cry

I have been doing myself a little field research. Here are my very thorough* and scientific** findings…

1. They are tired – be responsible and let them sleep won’t youbaby changing awards

2. They are not tired and you are trying to force rest – RUDE

3. They are bored – entertain ‘em for “crying” out loud

4. They have hit themselves in the face with the rattle that was supposed to entertain them

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