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10 Things Sleep Deprivation has Taught me

So there’s apparently always a lesson to be learnt. Even in the hellish midst of sleep deprivation…

1 – To lower my expectations… and then lower them some more. To the point where I consider a two hour stretch of unbroken sleep pretty decent

2 – That sometimes the only thing allowing me to parent safely is a hot cup of tea and the gritty determination to reach the bottom of it

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Life Lessons for my 3-year-old

life lessons 3 year old Big Trouble in Little NappiesI hear a lot of stuff about the baby days, a lot about the terrible two’s and a lot about 4-year-olds and the huge milestone of starting school. Right now though, I’m bathing knee deep in 3-year-old lunacy, which I actually don’t hear much about at all.

My son Just. Doesn’t. Stop.

Age 3 seems to be an explosion of imagination, conversation, learning SO much, and the blossoming of both awesome and frankly quite frightening personality traits. It’s a time to savour the happy chaos – in between shouting, ‘Get to bed!’ And, ‘Stop picking your nose!’ – and a time to worry if we’re doing what we should to help him not become a psychopath.

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On Being Tired and Being Enough

Tired and a little stressed, I sat down last week and tapped out this post for my Facebook page. I had had enough… of feeling like I wasn’t doing well enough, or that my baby was somehow wrong for not singing the same song sheet as the books prescribe. The response was so wonderfully overwhelming that I realised so many of us feel similar, and so many of us are cracking on doing an absolutely stirling job, but without any self-recognition. At all.

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Why Babies Cry

I have been doing myself a little field research. Here are my very thorough* and scientific** findings…

1. They are tired – be responsible and let them sleep won’t youbaby changing awards

2. They are not tired and you are trying to force rest – RUDE

3. They are bored – entertain ‘em for “crying” out loud

4. They have hit themselves in the face with the rattle that was supposed to entertain them

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I Will Carry You

1531992_10153709046760511_1433406769_nI carried you. From an invisible dot to the tiny baby you became, I carried you. I carried you inside me and I carried you in my heart.

And then, there you were – outside of me and into my arms. Then I began to carry not just you, but the enormous weight of responsibility, love and exhaustion. I feared sometimes I might collapse under its heaviness and occasionally, I did. But then I got back up and I carried you all once again.

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Letter to My Children

letter to my childrenTo my big and little whirlwinds,

To my loves… my work… my miracle daily grinds.

It hit me recently, amidst the busy-ness of two small kids and the fact I am still very much finding my feet with the (not so) new baby, how settled I actually am, and happy. I am tired – like bone tired – and sometimes stressed and flailing. Everything is disorganised and when I attempt the daily plate spinning every other parent also does, I always, always drop one. I worry about various things both related and unrelated to you, and my head can never retain all of the information it needs to be fully functional. Oh, and did I mention I’m tired?

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Parenting, Social Media & Salt

social mediaI am no parenting expert. I couldn’t tell you how to get your baby to sleep through the night in five easy steps and I don’t have ten handy tips for entertaining a toddler without turning on the television. I am often disorganised and feel like I overly-rely on raisins and fish fingers, but I do know that being a parent is complex, and the early years often relentless.

It is always how it has been – a juxtaposition of the wonderful and wearing – it’s normal, I know.

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Waiting for a Star to Fall

waiting for a starDear Little H,

This has been bubbling around my head for some time now, but the last eleven weeks – since your arrival – have flown by so quickly with busy days and wakeful nights that I haven’t been able to get anything down. Now, you are sleeping and I have chance to try and turn these feelings into words, though I am not sure where to begin.

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You Are Doing A Great Job

great jobIt has been another restless night and despite my plans to be Mrs Oh-So-Relaxed-Superwoman this time, I am feeling the stress of a baby who has fallen out with his moses basket and a toddler who needs more from me than I can sometimes spare. Oh and several million things I am behind on at home. But hey, they say that stuff doesn’t matter, I know. Until of course the toddler has no clean trousers and we have run out of nappies, and food.

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You and Me

20160225_151911_resizedIt is the middle of the night and your croaky voice wakes me through the monitor, you have been coughing and need a drink. It is just a cold – one of many this winter – and I stroke your head as you gratefully guzzle your water, while hoping you settle back down. I am tired, I need the loo and my legs are aching and unsteady. But then you say, ‘Want to lie in Mummy and Daddy’s bed,’ and I don’t hesitate. Of course that’s what you want, and secretly I do too tonight, not just because it is the quickest path to lying back down again.

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Why Children Need a Stint at Charm School

12234959_517196328462443_2337231468106979646_nAlthough it’s wonderful to have my toddler at an age where he can communicate with me, I’ve started to notice a significant downside to it, in the form of Brutal Honesty. I mean, how long does it take for kids to realise they don’t have to tell the truth about everything? (Confusing and potentially slippery slope, I realise.)

In the last couple of months, he has pointed out that my bum is wobbly, my hair is, “Fluffy… like a dog,” and that I am not a lady. When I ask him what I am, he responds, “Hmmm, can’t remember what you is.” Although I could hazard a guess, based on his loud proclamation that, “Mummy has her willy out,” in the supermarket toilets last week.

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