While I couldn’t have been more excited to be having a baby, in hindsight, there are a few things I wish I had made more of before the big event. So much so, I made a list of ‘em. If you’re reading this prior to popping out a bambino or two then go forth and complete for me – you’ll be glad you did. And if you’re in the same position as I am, feel free to just ruefully nod along while sipping your cold tea and half-heartedly wiping your snot-stained jeans with a baby wipe.
humourHome / humour
I hear a lot of stuff about the baby days, a lot about the terrible two’s and a lot about 4-year-olds and the huge milestone of starting school. Right now though, I’m bathing knee deep in 3-year-old lunacy, which I actually don’t hear much about at all.
My son Just. Doesn’t. Stop.
Age 3 seems to be an explosion of imagination, conversation, learning SO much, and the blossoming of both awesome and frankly quite frightening personality traits. It’s a time to savour the happy chaos – in between shouting, ‘Get to bed!’ And, ‘Stop picking your nose!’ – and a time to worry if we’re doing what we should to help him not become a psychopath.
Although it’s wonderful to have my toddler at an age where he can communicate with me, I’ve started to notice a significant downside to it, in the form of Brutal Honesty. I mean, how long does it take for kids to realise they don’t have to tell the truth about everything? (Confusing and potentially slippery slope, I realise.)
In the last couple of months, he has pointed out that my bum is wobbly, my hair is, “Fluffy… like a dog,” and that I am not a lady. When I ask him what I am, he responds, “Hmmm, can’t remember what you is.” Although I could hazard a guess, based on his loud proclamation that, “Mummy has her willy out,” in the supermarket toilets last week.
Parents, please know I do appreciate your frustration when I do not sleep, be it at nap time, bed time or middle-of-the-night time (your personal favourite I believe). I understand that me being awake means you being awake and that when you have fed me, changed me and soothed me, you expect me to drift into a peaceful slumber.
I can see that in theory, when the room temperature is just so, the blinds are drawn and the appropriate gaps between naps have been reached; I should happily nod off.
However, as we are both aware, this often isn’t how it goes down. And you, I am guessing, want to know why.
So – here’s a whole bunch of reasons – pick your favourite.