The Hoarder’s Guide to Preparing for a New Baby

Home / The Hoarder’s Guide to Preparing for a New Baby - December 18, 2015 , by yvettelamb

new babyWe have a lot of stuff in our house: keepsakes, bits & bobs, clutter, junk. Now we’re expecting our second baby, we’ve realised unless we house him or her in the garage, we have to take action. So I got to thinking: planning, sorting and throwing out my husband’s stuff while he was at work then denying all knowledge.

And you too can have an organised, de-cluttered home, by following these ten simple steps*

1. Lose a week looking through forgotten photos and mementos – feel nostalgic and end with more mess than when you started

2.Go through wardrobe and get real about the various outfits unworn since your early 20s that you definitely can’t get away with (or into) in your mid-30s. Fill several bags for the charity shop and leave in the car for 2 weeks

3. Prepare a huge pile of things for recycling or rubbish by the back door; come home one night to find your husband has rescued 70% of them because, ‘they might come in handy.’ Argue with husband.

4. Start on the toddler’s toys and show no mercy. Until he catches you and explains with compelling force that Every. Single. One. Of. These. is his favourite toy, ever

5. Instead shop for storage solutions. Get overexcited and wonder why you suddenly care about under-bed drawers and colour-coordinated boxes – who have you become?

6. Spend hours online searching boys’ bedroom ideas. You will turn your son’s room into the coolest space ever! Hopefully then he won’t notice you’ve stolen his cot, changer and nursery wall-art for his new sibling

7. Browse and browse without ever getting close to a decision, eventually realising you perhaps don’t have the time or skill to achieve perfection. But know that as long as it involves thought – and more importantly vehicle decor – he will be bowled over

8. Review your progress. You have a half empty spare room, feel like you’ve given away 60% of your possessions and have arguably gone a little overboard on the storage boxes

9. You are getting there – declare all will be completely finished in a fortnight. The next day everyone gets ill, for a week and a half.

10. Feeling weak and disinterested, readjust your expectations; Rome wasn’t built in a day after all. The baby won’t have to sleep in the garage (hooray) and you will plod on – becoming a little less hoarder-like and a little more clutter-free with every small step you take. Until that is, the baby arrives and brings even more paraphernalia to house – they are of course the worst hoarders of all…

*This is debateable

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5 thoughts on “The Hoarder’s Guide to Preparing for a New Baby”

  1. Lol, we’ve been trying to declutter at the moment and I can really relate to this – why is it that the toys you are trying to clear out suddenly become their all time favourites if they notice it? And what is it with husbands wanting to keep things “just in case?” Glad that you’ve manage to clear out some of it though and won’t have to make the new baby sleep in the garage! 🙂

  2. Yvette Lamb says:

    Oh I know with the toys – S won’t let me get rid of anything – drives me mad! And yes to the hoarder husband – who’d have thought they’d be even worse than us?! I think because I’m at home more, the clutter bothers me more!

  3. chocobros says:

    I love this. We have such a small house that I wonder how we fit everything in when the baby arrives! We’ll certainly take your advice!

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thanks! I think the house-takeover happens fairly gradually, so as long as you can squeeze the pram and bundles of nappies in, the rest will sneak up on you with BIG toys and piles of teddies… they now haunt my dreams… good luck! 😉

  4. Bread says:

    This is definitely going to be helpful in the next few months.

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