50 Signs You Have Become a Dull Grown-Up

Home / 50 Signs You Have Become a Dull Grown-Up - May 2, 2015 , by yvettelamb

50 signs1. You spend an entire Bank Holiday weekend sober

2. A Big Night is watching a film in one sitting

3. You know all of the lyrics to the Tweenies, but none of the songs in the Top 40

4. You grumble about potholes and selfish parking

5. You plan your weekend around a Homebase 15% off special

6. On a rare night out, you volunteer to drive as ‘It’s easier’ and you are more thrilled at the thought of no hangover than you are at the chance to have a drink

7. If you do drink, you are tipsy after half a glass of wine and hungover after a full one

8. The grocery delivery is a highlight of your week

9. On a bright breezy day, you excitedly proclaim it is a ‘Good day for drying washing’

10. You stock a variety of two or more cheeses in your fridge

11. You consult the BBC Weather app before planning your day

12. You literally no longer understand the word spontaneity

13. Levels of tiredness are a major talking point between you and your partner

14. Living dangerously is watching two episodes of Breaking Bad in one evening

15. You say things like ‘There is nothing nicer than clean sheets and a freshly made bed’

16. You talk about the garden and its care as if it were an actual person, rather than just sitting in it and drinking beer

17. You bemoan to friends the unsatisfactory dishwasher tablets you purchased recently, without any sense of how middle class and boring you sound

18. You receive homeware as a birthday gift, and are pleased

19. You would rather browse Dunelm than Warehouse

20. You meal plan

21. You get your car serviced

22. You consider getting your driveway resurfaced

23. You are friendly with all of your neighbours, and give them no cause to grumble about late night music

24. If another neighbour happens to have a party, it is a hot talking point in your house all night. ‘Don’t they know you have children? Don’t they have to be up early? Aren’t they aware you have lost all sense of fun?’

25. You spend part of your weekend washing your car or mowing the lawn, and don’t even complain about it

26. If you eat out, you never order dessert because ‘Too much rich food sets off the indigestion’

27. When people ask what you have been up to your mind goes completely blank and you wonder if ‘Watching TV and eating meals’ is an acceptable answer

28. There is no win quite like coveting a Parent & Child parking space at the supermarket

29. Almost every night is an early night

30. Clothes shopping is strictly a practical necessity

31. A new microwave is exciting

32. You use more than one programme on your washing machine

33. You own a tumble dryer

34. You join a book club

35. You don’t know any of the Radio 1 presenters, and when you flick to the station accidentally, you find yourself describing it as ‘A right racket’

36. You label your wheelie bins and hire a window cleaner

37. You have a wall calendar and keep it up to date

38. In an effort to regain your youth you scroll through the local gig guide… and recognise none of the bands listed

39. The only parties you are invited to are children’s birthdays or christenings

40. Having chance to clean the kitchen floor is genuinely satisfying

41. Pottering about is your idea of a perfect afternoon

42. Even if your kids sleep through the night, you can never go eight hours without a loo break

43. You are only out after 6 PM about three times a year, or when you run out of nappies

44. ‘Can anyone recommend a good plumber?’ is the kind of thing you post as your Facebook status, and the most exciting place you ‘Check In’ is Costa

45. You share ‘Great recipes’ with your friends

46. You batch cook

47. The thought of a spa day is far preferable to a night on the town

48. 8 AM is considered a lie in

49. You read the back of food jars before buying so that you can keep check on your salt and sugar intake

50. An Aldi opening nearby is hotly anticipated and cause for much celebrating. That is your next night out sorted; you mark it on your wall calendar

And perhaps the most telling sign of all… is that you really do not care about being a bit grown-up and sensible. Only boring people are bored, and if you get a kick from seeing your garden bulbs blossom, or starting a new box set then so be it. You are raising a family and get more excitement, thrills and laughter than you would from any nightclub (are they still called nightclubs?). You’ve done your time with debauchery, dancing and disgusting hangovers and now you are leaving youth to the young. Until that time you get a bit carried away with the Aldi vino and actually do give the neighbours something to complain about…

I have been nominated for an award – yep, a different one, sorry – this is the last I swear! So if you have a moment (because parents have so much free time..!) I would be most appreciative of your vote to help Big Trouble in Little Nappies reach the next stage. Thank you so much!

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30 thoughts on “50 Signs You Have Become a Dull Grown-Up”

  1. Emily-Jane says:

    An Aldi and Waitrose opened next door to each other where I live. Best day of my life… great list!

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Amazing – you are literally living the dream! A Waitrose here would be great. I bet their dishwasher tablets don’t disappoint!

  2. Catherine says:

    This is a great list and I can identify with so many of these that I couldn’t pick a favourite!

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thank you – also for reassuring me I’m not alone with my dull grown-upness!

  3. This is all so spot on I love it and I too cannot pick my favorite – laundry day and fridge cheese are both up there though!

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thanks! And yes, multiple cheese buying is definitely an important part of dull but happy living 😉 Love your blog name by the way!

  4. Louise says:

    I love this post – this just describes my life so perfectly! I had a lovely 8am lie-in this morning as the girls slept in and realised this evening that I was definitely getting old as I had a night out with friends and we were moaning about the loud music whilst sitting in the pub because we couldn’t have a conversation! Being able to get the washing on the line is definitely something that makes me happy too! 🙂

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thanks Louise! Oh yes to the pub thing – I won’t even go in one now unless there is ample seating and background music only – to be honest I’ve been like that for years though! 😉

  5. Dean says:

    Very good info. Lucky me I recently found your site by accident (stumbleupon).
    I have bookmarked it for later!

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Ooh lovely to have been ‘stumbled upon!’ and thank you. Welcome to the site!

  6. #6 was last night – and considering the puppy and the toddler got up at 5.30am I feel totally vindicated! Thanks for not making any of this sound negative, either, love it!

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Well that was a good call then – love a bit of smug sober behaviour! On a separate note, you have a puppy AND a toddler? That is seriously hardcore – I’m in awe!
      Thanks so much for sharing.

  7. Oh gosh – #guilty of many of these! Great list. Thanks for linking up to #MBPW

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thanks for hosting #MBPW Anya and also for relating to my dull grown-upness!

  8. Charlene says:

    I’m all the way there, except that I’m writing this with a massive hangover so not quite a grown up 😉 x

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      It is weird to be jealous of a hangover but I am at the very least a bit impressed… I hope the knowledge that you are still kind of cool and young helped you through the pain / sickness / exhaustion! 😉

  9. Heather says:

    Yep, guilty of every single one of these – particularly the Aldi excitement. Although, like Charlene I am DELIGHTED to announce that I have a bit of a hangover due to copious amounts of cocktail indulgence yesterday. The fact that I had three and was home by 9pm is immaterial. I am officially, not quite a grown up!

    Brilliant list – so funny. Have clicked and voted 🙂

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Haha – I love it! Being home at 9 pm after 3 drinks is absolutely immaterial. Point is, you rocked it out on a Saturday night (or at least Saturday evening…) That is always going to be more awesome that falling asleep in front of a film AGAIN!

      Thank you and thanks so much for voting – much appreciated! 🙂

  10. This is kind of the most awesome post, I could say yes easily to over half of these and i’m only 23. I actually got a new microwave yesterday and it 100% made my day! New kettle too!! 😉 Ray xx #MBPW

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thank you! Ah, enjoy those new kitchen appliances my friend – two at once is such a treat! I am really hankering after a new kettle – and matching toaster – but our boring old ones are still working, damn. I have contemplated asking for one as a birthday present but can’t quite bring myself to be THAT boring!

  11. Haha, great post, far too many of these were true for me…I particularly got excited with a new tumble dryer purchase last month and have not stopped harping on about it since! Ooops! xx

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thank you! I can completely relate to that – we got one when our baby was 9 months old – it was one of the best days of my life. I couldn’t believe how I’d got by without one, and even gave one friend a demonstration. Seriously – what’s wrong with me? Enjoy your new best pal!

  12. Hey..I am boring too. I could relate to most of the points but the thing I did most during my stay in UK was to check the BBC weather app every time, even before heading out to LIDL which was right behind my apartment building. Sounds so boring…yeah I know.
    I received a nomination for The very inspiring blogger award and I pass on the baton to you. For details please click on the below link –

    1. Yvette Lamb says:

      Thanks Anamika! I look forward to checking out your post and nomination 🙂 Oh I love Lidl, I can’t walk past without popping in for a browse!

  13. oh no I can relate to so many of these….! I don’t think that is a good thing.
    I’ve just literally volunteered to do number 6, for the very reason you listed!! I’m so crap with hangovers and the thought of one with two children scares the hell out of me!! I suppose we should try and embrace the dullness though.
    Great post made me chuckle

  14. Ha! Yvette, it’s like I’m looking in the mirror!
    I went on a hen do two days ago and I am still nauseous. I drank cocktails and then puked in a bin and rushed to get the bus replacement service home so I could get to bed at a reasonable hour.
    My feet are still throbbing from wearing the damn heels.
    I just want to watch Netflix without my bra on and clean my bathroom sink with Flash wipes….and knock back Lidl prosecco. That’ll do fine by me!!
    If there was an Aldi opening near me then I am pretty sure I would have an orgasm immediately upon hearing the news xx

  15. Kate Chapman says:

    This is brilliant! I am ashamed (!) to say I am guilty of the majority of these. Only the other day I commented to my other half that I’d been listening to R1 and didn’t know any of the songs…..! Fab post x #fridayfrolics

  16. A great list! I was nodding all the way through! I can relate to most if not all of them! 🙂 x

  17. I am doing number 6 tonight.
    *hangs head in shame

    Great post 🙂

    Thanks for linking up to #FridayFrolics

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